28.

They say that turning twenty-eight is one of the most important years because you’re getting into the next cycle of your life, as every seven years we change. I can already feel myself evolving so I’m certain that this year will be a bittersweet one. I figured what better time to write something to share then now. Honestly, what was supposed to be weeks turned into months and months turned into two years, and here I am. Life is funny like that, you make a plan and you think everything is going to work exactly how you envision it. However, LIFE alters that. Many times, in life, you lose yourself in the chaos. I’m not sure if I’ve found myself yet because life is a cycle. Healing is a cycle. Healing can only come from acceptance. Accepting what is, what was and most importantly understanding that you cannot control all of it. Truth is, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going, I’m just following my heart, as cliché as it sounds. Everything in life that comes with growth comes with discomfort. If you’re always comfortable you are not growing. I am thankful for twenty-seven, my journey and all my losses because it has taught me valuable lessons that I won’t forget. I’ve learned that it’s okay to let yourself feel all the things, cry, scream, let it all out if necessary. Just don’t allow yourself to sulk in the stress that come with living. Do not let those moments define who you are because life never gets easier. Last year, I got into a car accident that still impacts me today. I stopped doing the things I loved, and I stayed in a toxic relationship where I completely lost sight of who I am and who I want to become. Through that turmoil, I’ve become completely humbled and can honestly say I’ve learned the true meaning of what is important and what life is about. I’m no longer concerned with anyone’s thoughts because I know myself. This year, I hope to become less apologetic. To become selfish because MY happiness comes first. I see myself transforming into a woman that welcomes everything life has to offer. A woman who is not what the world wants me to be but who I choose to be. A woman who knows her worth and understands her value. A woman who loves herself with the same love she gives to others. I’ve accepted all my scars, flaws, mistakes, and past transgressions. In accepting myself, I’ve realized the people who deserve roles in my life. I’m no longer concerned with the ones who have left because I understand now that some people are just for the season. I thank everyone for their part in my journey and I’m ready to move on. A clean slate, no resentment… only learned lessons. The notion that we’re all supposed to have it figured out at a certain age or time frame just isn’t true. We’re all exactly where we need to be. If you rush life, you aren’t living it. We should all treat ourselves with kindness, patience, and compassion. Don’t ever hold grudges because we’re all doing the very best that we can do & that alone is beautiful. I am light, I am love, I am not my mistakes and I’m ready to celebrate myself. Goodbye, Chapter 27.

Dear 28, be good to me. I’m ready. Xo

Beyond pictures

When I was young my mom wanted to put my brother and me in modeling. She took us to this agency called “the green agency” to sign us up. I was full of so much excitement that day. The lady looked at my brother and I and she told my mother there is no chance for me to be a model because of my acne. I know that she was being honest because she was friends with my mom but it broke my heart. All my dreams conceived and shattered on the same day. My brother modeled for a short period of time but he didn’t enjoy it much. I’ve dealt with acne and scars for as long as I could remember. Nonetheless, I still wanted nothing more than to be a model. I always felt like I wanted to prove to that lady that Women with acne can be models. In essence, this photo shoot meant a lot to me. Not only because the photographer is an amazing friend but above all, I felt liberated. Trust me, I am far from a model nor do I desire to be one anymore. Mainly this was fun. I said I wanted to finally get out there and do it and I did! Is it too much to send copies to the agency that told my mom I couldn’t model because of acne? Im Kidding! But in all honesty, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I was wearing makeup, yes. but regardless, I want everyone who suffers from acne to know that you are beautiful. Love your skin and embrace your scars. Above all, follow your dreams. Don’t be afraid to let others take pictures of you, don’t be afraid of selfies. Don’t let it get in your way from all the things you desire. Excited to show you guys some pictures from the shoot!

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DSC_3746.JPGOne of my absolute favorites! It captures the essence of this entire photoshoot. Please do not let anything get in the way of YOU doing the things you love. No matter how many times you heard ” No” or that ” you cant.”

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